Tag Archive for: mental health

Ask a publishing professional what you should write next, and they’ll never tell you. “Write what you want to write,” they’ll say. They might say writing what you want will produce better results, or that no one can guess a trend. But there’s another aspect I’ve never heard someone say but am now realizing is essential to the creative process: You have to trust your gut.

Trusting your gut as a writer applies to many different aspects of the creative process. You have to trust your gut when you’re drawn to write your next project. Or when you’ve chosen a weird name for your main character. Or when your characters go off your planned course, but it feels inevitable and right in your gut.

There’s also a point when all your research looking for the right home, agent, or editor for your manuscript ends, and you just have to trust yourself to make the right choice. Sometimes you just feel good about something, so you send your email off into the world because it feels like the right time, the right person, and you hope.

That hope is part of the publishing process, too. It’s the thing that keeps writers going after a stack of rejections and years of work and refinement. It’s what pushes writers to write the next thing, submit the next story, and do it all again, despite the difficulty, frustration, and feelings of failure. But we keep going because something in our gut keeps pulling us forward, and we keep trusting it to lead us in the right direction.

I’ve been too in my head about writing recently. I’ve been too caught up in the “right way” to start a novel. Too busy analyzing where to best spend my time. Too lost thinking about writing instead of slapping words on the page like a writer. I haven’t been spending much time listening to my gut, and that has got to change.

I’ve had a lot of distractions this month (mostly in the form of covid), so I haven’t made much progress on this change, but knowing what my next steps should be is making me feel more confident about my writing future.

How about you? Do you trust your gut when it comes to writing? Any suggestions on how I can get better at trusting my gut again?

 

 

For full access to The Write Life and more about what I’ve done to assist with my creative life, sign up on Patreon for $1 or more per month. You’ll also receive a personalized thank you in a future edition of The Write Life.

This month has been A. LOT. There’s no other way to describe it, honestly. When life becomes a lot, there’s often nothing you can do about it except hold on, ride through, and hope you can figure out how to get some writing done while everything else is happening.

Many other writers would (and should) take a break from writing when faced with all the chaos and uncertainty I dealt with this past month. I find solace in maintaining my writing streak and keeping one element of my life somewhat steady, so I continued using daily prompts as a low stress way to take a break from writing while continuing to write regularly.

I also made progress drafting a new writing workshop about how to evaluate writing advice and decide what fits your life and what can be discarded. (Look for that in 2024.)

And I spent my time not stressing about life to stress about getting ready for DragonCon—which is happening right now!

If you’re hanging out around Atlanta, you’ll be able to find me at these fine panels over the weekend (schedule subject to change, as is the will of DragonCon):

FRIDAY

    • 11:30AM Stargate: The TV Movies and Beyond
    • 2:30PM Coping Strategies in Military Sci-Fi Media
    • 7:00PM It Was Kang All Along

SATURDAY

    • 11:30AM Mythology and Religion in the Worlds of Stargate
    • 7:00PM BFFs in the MCU

SUNDAY

    • 8:30PM Firefly: It All Comes Out in the Wash

MONDAY

    • 11:30AM Titans: Brother Blood
    • 2:30PM Guardians: Rocket’s Story

I’m on exclusively fan-focused panels this year, though I’m sure I’ll discuss some writerly worldbuilding during the mythology and religion panel, and I’ll be talking about the importance of relationships in action stories while discussing Marvel friendships, and I’m already planning a little English 101 exploration of protagonists to lead off the panel on Rocket Raccoon. (They may be fan panels, but I always bring my writing game.)

If you are someone who follows me on the internet and are able to find me at DragonCon, don’t be shy about saying hello. I’m always happy to chat with fellow writers and nerds.

 

 

For full access to The Write Life and more about what I’ve done to assist with my creative life, sign up on Patreon for $1 or more per month. You’ll also receive a personalized thank you in a future edition of The Write Life.

No daily writer even wants to think the word “burnout.” But at the end of June someone directed that word at me, and I had to accept that part of my recent problem is related to burnout.

It was pointed out that the last year has been, um, stressful. Putting my career on hold to take care of my family was one kind of stress, but then coming back to my job with my hair on fire, desperate to jump in and make things work better was another kind of stress on top of that. Add to that daily struggles, my own chronic illnesses, isolation and loneliness, and the state of the world—it’s been a lot. So, yes, I am burned out, even if it’s not the creative burnout I fear. (And that’s not to say that all the other burnout isn’t sapping my creative energies.)

I decided to take the end of June to clear my plate, so I could spend as much of July as possible relaxing and refueling.

There was one problem with my plan—I’m a daily writer. I can’t stop writing. So, if I’m not working on my novels, short stories, or anything else that is “for work,” what can I write while still taking this very necessary break?

A Writing Break for Burnout

I decided the solution was daily prompts.

I obviously enjoy writing to prompts and had first thought to dig into my vast resources and pre-select a few that jive with me. But that might feel a little too much like what I do monthly on Patreon and might encourage me to “do something” with whatever I write. The point right now is to not do anything. To keep up my writing practice without trying to set a goal, make something perfect, or even refine it in any way. If I stumble across an idea I want to develop later, great, but everything I’m writing currently should come with guilt-free disposability.

I downloaded an app promising daily prompts and resolved to use them regardless of how much I liked the prompt on its own. And the results? Have been pleasantly surprising!

Knowing whatever I write is meant for My Eyes Only has provided much more freedom than I usually experience while writing. I haven’t needed to worry about coherence and can jump from thought to thought or moment to moment without trying to find a transition or make a note to figure it out later

There’s also no pressure to write anything of substance or quality because no one is going to see it. I don’t have to release it for any audience or please anyone with what I’m writing. Everything can suck! There are no right answers! These are just words to keep my writing streak alive and keep myself connected to creativity!

Having the rule to write to every prompt, even if it’s not one that really engages me is another form of freedom. The first question I ask the prompt is “what will I do with it?” instead of “do I want to do something with this?” That subtle twist of language shifts my focus from me to the writing (and from the future to the present) and has allowed me to write something for every prompt.

Bonus: because I’m not editing and am just putting words on a page, I can complete my 250-word daily minimum in 10 minutes without any fuss!

More and more I’m feeling like using a daily prompt randomly supplied might serve as a good warm-up for my normal writing routine or as a way to reconnect when I’m feeling out of sorts. Has anyone else tried using daily prompts like this? What’s your experience been like?

 

 

For full access to The Write Life and more about what I’ve done to assist with my creative life, sign up on Patreon for $1 or more per month. You’ll also receive a personalized thank you in a future edition of The Write Life.

After an up-and-down month in May with some extreme writing highs and lows concurrent with my vacillating mental health, I decided June needed to be about kindness. Mostly that was kindness in the way I treated and talked to myself, but I also allowed for kindness related to my writing. This writing kindness wasn’t just about writing kind things (though I did a lot of low stakes writing in June), it was about being kind to my writing life, accepting things for how they are, and recontextualizing what productivity and progress means.

The writing life is often NOT kind. We spend hours isolated, chipping away at our ideas, only to have to rewrite and revise and polish (and then rewrite and re-polish)—then to be told all the things we did wrong, or could do better by editors, agents, and audience. The stories we actually manage to finish and publish can be our dearest creations and still be met by rejection or—worse—apathy. The writing business is not kind, which means that writers need to be as kind to ourselves as possible.

What does writing kindness look like in terms of a writing life?

First, it means throwing out expectations and rules dictating what a writing life “should” be.

Do you have to write every day? Nope.
Do you have to write 1,000 words a day? Also, no.
Do you have to write for at least an hour every time you write? Very no.
Write from an outline?
Use Scrivener?
Draft in a Moleskine notebook with your literal blood, sweat, and tears?

Hopefully you’ve caught on that the answer to all those questions is no—unless of course any of those things are part of YOUR writing process. But none of them are part of every writing process and none of them mean you are a “real” writer simply by subscribing to them.

Beyond putting aside what you think a writing life should be, an important writing kindness is changing what you’ll accept as productivity.

Some days writing productivity might mean writing 1,000 words. Other days writing productivity might mean thinking about your story in spare moments as you’re in the shower, folding clothes, or sitting in traffic. Dreaming up character backgrounds and names, working through worldbuilding details, outlining or researching—all of those things can be writing productivity!

Writing does not always mean writing because a lot of writing is thinking. It’s coming up with options, and then making decisions. And to come up with those options, you have to spend time thinking.

If you happen to be someone driven by word counts (cough, me, cough), then you can write down those options and thinking and brainstorming, so you can “get credit” for that productivity, but YOU DON’T HAVE TO! Be kind to yourself! Be kind to your writing life!

Another way to treat your writing life with kindness—and this is one I’m looking to develop more—is by surrounding yourself with supportive people.

Find readers and other writers who will tell you what you’ve written is wonderful and who will encourage you to keep going. Find someone who is so excited for the idea you’re currently obsessed with and check in with them to feed from their enthusiasm. Find a writing group that is interested in what you’re writing. Find people you can talk to about your work. Don’t accept jerks or critics into your creation process! Surround yourself with kindness and wear that kindness like armor and a shield to protect yourself from all the times writing is not kind.

It’s good to be kind to yourself and your writing life because so many other things will not be kind. Writing kindness is one way writers can cope with the rejection and isolation that’s baked into the writing process and find the motivation to keep going.

 

 

For full access to The Write Life and more about what I’ve done to assist with my creative life, sign up on Patreon for $1 or more per month. You’ll also receive a personalized thank you in a future edition of The Write Life.

Most jobs have defined parameters: go to work, perform specific tasks at work, go home. Even jobs performed from home or that require overtime still fall into similar routines. There can be a start and stop time—an on/off switch, if you will—work defined by tasks or time, and there is always an end.

With writing? Not so much.

A cluster of hanging lightbulbs, all of them on because the writer on/off switch is also on and full of inspiration.

Photo by Diz Play on Unsplash

Writing has a habit of encroaching on everything. You’re in the shower, lathering in shampoo and—BAM—you have the solution to a plot hole. You’re making dinner, sautéing veggies and—WHAM—you finally have inspiration for your title. You’re trying to fall asleep, letting all your thoughts empty out of your head and—POP—the perfect line of dialogue appears. No matter what you’re doing, writing is happening in some corner of your brain and it’s going to jump up and demand attention when you’re least prepared.

But the opposite is true, too, isn’t it? When we sit down to write, our real life comes in to distract us. That could be in the form of remembering unfinished tasks on our to-do lists and things we need to do or buy or clean, or in the form of our loved ones poking their heads into our writing time with well-meaning interruptions that still derail our train of thought.

Writing doesn’t come with an on/off switch, and it can be difficult to switch in and out of writing mode to maintain a healthy work/life balance. (I doubt I’m the only freelancer who experiences this problem related to other work as well since sometimes those shower thoughts are about the manuscript I’m editing or the email I need to send or how to revamp my Patreon.)

Working from home doesn’t help this situation either because there is literally no separation between my workspace and my home space. They’re the same space!

I was at the end of my rope about this problem, so this month I tried to create some separation by utilizing a vacation home I occasionally have access to. I got to have a routine, a short commute, and a quiet, uncluttered workspace that has nothing to do with my home life! And when I went home at the end of my workday, I didn’t feel nearly as much pressure to keep working. I also felt less anxiety related to “you didn’t do enough” because I’d had more success getting things done during regular work hours.

Since the on/off switch for writers is mostly broken, writers have to try harder to create boundaries around work life and home life. A room of one’s own is a great way to do that, but not everyone has access to a vacation home (and I don’t even have access to it all the time). There are other boundaries that can be set—a schedule, a special place to write (even if that’s just moving from one side of the desk to the other), and other routines (a special snack, a lit candle, noise-cancelling headphones).

I’m trying to keep all those tricks in mind as I transition back to mostly working from home. I feel like this month has been a good reminder of the importance of separating work from home, and I’ll be looking for more opportunities to get out of the house and actually separate work from home.

Speaking of, anyone want to join me at a coffee shop to write?

 

 

For full access to The Write Life and more about what I’ve done to assist with my creative life, sign up on Patreon for $1 or more per month. You’ll also receive a personalized thank you in a future edition of The Write Life.

I’ve been struggling in my creative life because I’ve been struggling with my mental health.

Creativity is connected to wellness. Dysfunction comes quickly when your body or mind isn’t in its usual form. It’s easier to become distracted, to lose motivation, to get frustrated, to feel lost, to forget why you were doing this in the first place when your mental health is suffering. You can wind up feeling the work of writing and publishing and none of the joy.

Getting advice and support for these particular problems can be a challenge because not all resources are meant to support writers with chronic issues. For all the positive thinkers out there, we can appreciate you, but you don’t seem to understand what it’s like for us writers dealing with chronic illness.

Blocks formed by chronic illness aren’t a mindset problem. We’re not “focused on failure” or failing to see silver linings. Sometimes we physically cannot “write through it.” Chronic illness blocks start by preventing writers from getting to the page when we have the desire to write.

  • It is physical pain stopping us from typing at the computer, or sitting at a desk, or holding a phone.
  • It is a migraine forming when we look at a glowing screen.
  • It’s seizing or aching muscles and joints that make it difficult to hold a pen or perform small motor functions.
  • It’s a too-active brain that struggles to settle into a moment.
  • It’s an autonomic sleep response that makes us drowsy to avoid stress.

It’s an overwhelming concern that this will never end, that nothing will change, that we have no control over what happens. In short: it is hopelessness, which cannot be overcome by an aphorism and a sunny attitude.

Mindset is part of the solution—because accepting the truth of a situation is part of dealing with chronic illness and mental health—but it’s a small part of the solution. The real solution is developing a well-stocked kit of tools and strategies to help mitigate the blocks caused by chronic illness and to accept the days when you have to call it quits.

My toolbox for anxiety and a lack of focus includes bookmarked ambient mixes and ASMR YouTube videos, Lifesavers and chocolate, very cold water, taking off my socks, updating tracking information and schedules (numbers and data!), and many, many other things designed to focus my thoughts, trick my anxiety, or ignore my hopelessness enough that I can fumble my way to productivity. (And some days part of my toolbox is communicating with others so they’ll understand when I shut off all notifications because omg even one will derail me.)

Having a fully stocked toolbox is a huge help, but it may not “fix” things, and I often find myself rooting inside a near empty box, trying to find one last ditch thing that might pull my brain together. Those are the days when I have to accept my situation and be satisfied with my minimum workload being achieved. Some days the minimum is enough.

 

 

For full access to The Write Life and more about what I’ve done to assist with my creative life, sign up on Patreon for $1 or more per month. You’ll also receive a personalized thank you in a future edition of The Write Life.

The main difference between finishing a project and not is often confidence. The confidence we feel about our creative work is what keeps us going through the hiccups, the rough days, and the multiple revisions. It helps us make choices, stick with them, and show our work to other people. Confidence in our creativity is what gets us to write in the first place—and what sees us through to the end.

Friends, let me tell you, this month my creative confidence has been shaky.

It’s no great secret I’m a planner by nature. (Have you been around here for ten seconds? I talk about it constantly and probably have it documented in a spreadsheet.) I leave space in all my writing plans for some serendipitous pantsing—a connection or worldbuilding detail that blooms as I draft and will be folded in to enhance what’s already planned—but by and large, I draft an outline, I set a scene list, and I follow that basic structure.

The reason I follow that structure is not because that’s the way I should write, it’s because, largely, it’s a solid structure! I know what I’m doing when I plan out a story. I’ve internalized story structure through all my watching and reading and studying, so that when I record my plan and step through the story, everything makes sense and builds to satisfying climaxes and resolved character arcs. When I start rearranging the furniture as I draft, it becomes very obvious why I arranged the events in this order in the first place.

It’s been frustrating this month when my brain just hasn’t wanted to write the scene that way. When I get stuck in a moment and can’t find my way out without inventing a new twist or direction in the plot. When I think the timeline is both too long and too short because (wait for it)… I lost my creative confidence.

The problem isn’t that my story plan was wrong or weak or lacking in any way. My problem is that I’m having difficulty in other areas of my life and it’s shaking my confidence. Since writing comes from our emotions and current headspace, mental health is key to a writer’s ability to write. When stress, anxiety, or depression affects us, it can stop us in our tracks in huge ways unless we can find some way to maintain our creative confidence.

I’m regaining it in fits and spurts—and I’m almost through this chapter that’s been plaguing me—but creative confidence is an ongoing struggle. If you’ve been struggling with your confidence, I hope you can find some solace in knowing you’re not the only one and I hope you find your confidence again soon.

 

 

For full access to The Write Life and more about what I did to restore my creative confidence, sign up on Patreon for $1 or more per month. You’ll also receive a personalized thank you in a future edition of The Write Life.

It is with great joy that I announce that after a very rough end to 2022, I’m back!

There is still a bit of chaos in my home life as we wrap cancer & lung infection treatments for my mom (which will take at least through July), but life has settled enough that I can resume some of my professional efforts, including my Patreon and blogging.

The time off has been positive as it’s given me space to consider what efforts are working best for my career and energy, and which ones have been more painful than positive. I’ve also spent a lot of time assessing how I want to focus and move forward.

One thing that’s become clear to me is that I want to spend more time in and around inspiration. Working on the Story Kernels podcast made me remember why I have so many prompt resources and it let me stretch my ability to use inspiration and play more with storytelling. It was a positive experience I want to continue, so—in response to that—I’m adding a new tier to my Patreon:

Writer Prompts

Each month I’ll post a prompt from one of my many resources, and you can use that prompt to create! While I imagine most people following me are fellow writers, you don’t need to be limited to prose or even the written word. Take that inspiration and do with it what you will!

Underneath each prompt, I’ll include a response of 100–500 words—what the prompt inspired for me.

Whether you want the prompts for yourself or want to read what I’ve written, the Writer Prompts tier is where you’ll find inspiration and what I’m doing with inspiration.

You can sign up for Writer Prompts as a new patron or change your pledge to include access to the new tier.

But if you don’t have the cash to join Patreon (don’t worry, I understand), I’ll be posting a prompt to this blog roughly every other month. Most of these will be prompts previously posted on Patreon (or Story Kernels), but I might share something fresh every now and again to keep things ~interesting. (And not all prompts posted to Patreon are guaranteed to be made public—so there will absolutely be Patreon exclusives among the offerings.)

As part of the changes to my Patreon, I’m also retiring the 3-Page Editing Advice tier. The execution of that tier never matched how I envisioned its use, so I’m planning to transform it into a new offering that better matches how patrons have been redeeming banked pages, my workload, and what would best benefit writers. I’m not yet ready to launch that new effort, so look for it later this year.

I’m excited about pushing forward with more focus and am feeling positive about the changes I’m making and how they align with my long-term goals and self-care. Hope you’re also making plans that center your mental and physical health alongside your creative goals.

 

 

For full access to The Write Life and the story of what the heck was up with my Christmas tree this year, sign up on Patreon for $1 or more per month. You’ll also receive a personalized thank you in a future edition of The Write Life.

Sometimes life throws a wrench into everything.

That happened to me at the beginning of August with several family emergencies and health problems colliding at the same time. We weathered a multi-day struggle of figuring out which able-bodied adult was taking care of who and trying our best to not simultaneously burnout.

During the worst days, I shifted into Minimal Work Mode, which includes writing 250 words per day, responding only to burning questions, and checking in to confirm deadlines won’t be missed. All other work had to sit! It takes me a solid day to recover from this level of emotional stress, so after the first full day of rest, I was able to start shifting into a slightly more regular workflow, just keeping lighter hours and ensuring flexibility in case something else popped up. (Which, uh, it did.)

While you can’t plan for life’s wrenches, you can make generic plans for how those wrenches can affect your writing life. Are you someone who feels comfortable throwing in the towel on writing and taking a break until life settles down again? Or are you like me and you need to write daily (even if it’s not on your main project)? Knowing which you’re comfortable doing, and then creating a plan around your work can save a lot of pain in making that decision while you’re already in the midst of distress.

Here’s My Minimal Writing Mode in full:

  • Check To-Do List for Burning Items
    Is there a project that
    has to have attention today? Usually my writing life isn’t deadline oriented, but when it is, I may have to ensure I can get a submission posted. Many times if I send an email to the stakeholders and explain the situation, they can accept the submission late. (I’m talking about people who I already have a relationship with, not the last day to submit a short story to a magazine—that opportunity might just have to be missed.)

  • 250 Words Per Day
    This is a number I set after many years of practice and a realization that even when I’m very sick, I can put together 250 words reliably and quickly. (This has been tested through intense colds and food poisoning, so I feel confident about it.)

  • Plan to Write a Blog Post
    Blog posts are easier for me to write quickly when I’m under stress. If I have one in progress that doesn’t require research, I can add 250 words to it. But if I need to start something new, I have a pre-written list of topics I can choose from. The pre-written list means I’m not wasting mental energy thinking up something, I just have to choose.

Keeping up my daily writing practice in the middle of family emergencies and health chaos may seem inconsequential, but for me it’s a chance for self-care. Whether I’m writing a blog post or spending time in a fictional world, it’s a chance for me to take a beat, sit with my thoughts, and organize something. (When the rest of my world feels disorganized, that feeling becomes even more important!) Knowing what my “easy” mode is and being able to set the boundaries for the minimal effort to keep me happy means I’m always prepared when life throws a wrench in all my plans.

That said, some of the health chaos will be continuing through the coming months, so I’m placing this blog along with some other monthly responsibilities on hiatus through the end of 2022. Keep up a healthy work-life balance in my absence and feel free to say hello and check in with me on Twitter!

 

 

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While writing is never an easy undertaking, I’ve been struggling more this year. Focus has been difficult, as has maintaining priorities. “Eyes on the prize” is a mantra I’ve been repeating as I continue to become distracted by other responsibilities and projects and things that Sound Cool but have been stealing my attention and energy. It’s been frustrating to be forced into choosing and being unable to do everything when I’m used to being an ace at my juggling act. But it’s time I accept a truth: when I keep dropping a ball, it’s time to leave the ball on the floor.

Dropping an activity—or even deprioritizing it for a limited time—is difficult for me. I feel the pressure from other people (someone was expecting or looking forward to my contributions!), the pressure from consistency (doing something regularly is more likely to draw and maintain an audience), and the pressure from myself.

Screaming woman with multi-colored balls falling around her.

Photo by Zak Neilson on Unsplash

Admittedly the pressure from myself is the dumbest reason and the one I should be able to let go of easily, and yet…

I have a lot of expectations regarding what I should be able to do. While that usually matches reality, it sometimes comes with a steep cost (especially when I’m looking at a year of increased mental and emotional burden). I was talking to a friend about a deadline recently and said, “Can I make it? Of course. Because I will literally kill myself before missing deadlines.” Friends, that is not a healthy way to be. Especially if what I’m striving to meet doesn’t have a career, mental, or emotional payoff that will support refueling the inevitable burnout.

One of the reasons I need to step away from some of the things I’ve been doing is because they don’t support my career path and goals. (This is a good starting place if you need to reassess your own responsibilities, by the way.) As I was making a list of what I need to work on for the second half of this year, I realized how many of the things on that list weren’t writing a novel or writing articles for pay or writing workshops. When I started fitting those things in around the other responsibilities, it became obvious what was choking my goals and where I needed to step back.

I’ve already trimmed some responsibilities and am taking a hard look at the other jobs on my to-do list. It’s difficult to say “no” when something sounds cool or fun, or when I can see how it might fit into Alli’s Puzzle of Freelancing & Writing. But I can’t let Cool and Fun outweigh Time, Energy, and Mental Health. It hurts to let go of opportunities in the short term, but in the long term, my future (and my writing life) will thank me for leaving the dropped ball on the floor.

 

 

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